It was one o'clock in the morning and I had five pages left of the assignment. Hopper shows up in the hallway making a slow walk towards my door. My bed is positioned to view this on purpose. As the token gay member of this fraternity for two years now. I am the Yoda of all things remotely gay and have occasionally provided a few favors.
Strangely enough we are both in our second year in Criminal Justice. Hopper wants to be a FBI, but would settle for a cop. I planned to go into social work. Hopper got his name last year because he and over one hundred young ladies on campus acted like bunnies. The problem is Hopper hops from one to the next and back again. You can note the timeline of his record with the ladies on Facebook. Every date was posted. The ones he scored with he took two pics with one before and one after.
I am sitting up leaning against the backboard on my bed in my underwear when Hopper gets to my door. He asks if I got a minute and I say sure come on in. He sits next to me on my bed when my desk chair was clearly an option. I ask what's up.
He says he has questions. Hopper tells me is best friend in high school John just came out to him a week ago. He said they were like brothers, super close, they did football and weight lifting. Sleepover never gay stuff, but they loved each other and they pretended they were brothers. Their families were find with it. They both had girlfriends off and on.
John told Hopper he was in love with him, and always has been. He wants nothing to change, unless Hopper could possibly feel the same way. Saying one of us had to come out first and Hopper is the one one he wants to do this with, and the whole town now knows John is gay now. Everyone is asking about Hopper.
This was not the conversation I was expecting. I asked if his family had said anything. It gets weird when I see tears. I had him a tissue box from my night stand.
His dad called to asked if Hopper had heard. Hopper told him about Johns and his conversation. His dad asked him point blank so, despite what to post on Facebook what are the chances you are gay? His dad said I know you love him, but can you love him? Then he ask him. Are you happy son? Hopper said they ended the conversation agreeing he need to think about what really wants.
The best Yoda thought was... You are questioning your sexuality. If you might or could have a different preference at this point in your life. What is wrong with the preference you had so far?
I am not sure why but after John and I talked I have not been with a girl by choice. That seems like just sex for all the wrong reasons now.
Wow that's like a record for you going without.
Hopper explains. Until Johns conversation I never went their. Now I can't stop picturing him and I doing it. Here is the thing I am afraid I can't go through with it. I could panic, run away, throw up. I don't want to do that to John, my dad or anyone. I was hoping we could do gay stuff just so I can wrap my mind around what I am committing myself to.
Wait, do gay stuff with me? You and I. (me freaking)
Dude I am freaking the hell out here. It like getting married to someone without having tried it. I like sex with girls I can have sex with girls. I have zero clue if I can go through with it and You are truly the only person I feel okay ask to do this with. If you and I can do gay stuff. I know I can do it with him. So, what do you think bro?
...Kiss Me Hopper.
We both knew he was full blown gay thirty minutes later. The rest of that night and the next two weeks was supposed to be practice until Hopper went home for Christmas vacation. Hopper happier then ever returned to campus with his new boyfriend in January. John was hot and might have more muscles than Hopper. I volunteered to help move them into an apartment.
I met Hoppers dad. He seem to think two guys can't love, need, or want to be with someone as much as they did and not be gay. He said t's not fair they were pre-programed not to go there. Thank God love always wins. There is a straight man I can say I love and respect.
The Power of Questions - Story Time Blog
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