Three years ago my parents buy a camera for our living room to spy on me and my three younger siblings when they are not home. They don't use it any more so I asked my mom if I can put it in my bedroom to see which little brother is messing around in my room with my stuff.
Turns out it was my dad going into my room. Dad works swing shift and he gets up after we have all left the house. He finds my tumblr blog which is obviously gay. With no one home my dad would watch select gay content I had placed on my laptop.
I was so confused. He has to know I am gay and has not said a word. I know my mom will go bonkers she is a church goer, and hates all things gay. Why is he watching gay content? I couldn't take it any longer so Monday when I got to school I went to the nurse's office and got sent home for the rest of the day.
Needless to say my dad was surprised to see me. We learn a lot about each other.
Dad thinks my mother checks his phone and computer for pictures of ladies. History. He thinks my mom would call that cheating on her.
Mom thinks people should only have sex to produce children, and because she can no long do that. Mom is done with that for the rest of her life. Dad was not prepared for that.
They have had the divorce talk but my youngest sibling is 12 and that would make things difficult with the hours they both work. The cost of two houses.
It was weird to say the least I had never heard my dad talk to me like an adult telling me the truth about his feelings. The realization that the world does not revolve around me. I am not the only person with issues.
I had to ask... So, dad what about the gay stuff?
My dad reminded he help me set up my password on my first laptop my girlfriend in seventh grades. Her date of birth and name. Per mothers instruction dad has been monitoring my laptop all my life and witnessed for himself the switch from girls to boys.
He said that finding the right person to fall in love with and create a life and family is a roll of the dice. Our parents push us to get married. I have to live with the choice I made for myself. So, do you. Do what makes you happy and no one else.
Dad said. He told mom he wants to put a light in the tuff shed. Mom never goes out there and once he has electricity he is turning into a man cave.  With a lock from both sides. He also made it clear he was looking at ladies on tumblr not men. He only looks at my blog to see if I am posting pics of myself. Which he suggest would not be a good idea if I want his help for college.
The real story was the next day I go to school, and get to be myself. For the first time when I looked at a guy they knew what I was thinking. I made a few guys uncomfortable just by looking at them. I was putting it out there without saying a word. For the life of me I did not understand the change. It was like dad had gave me permission, said go for it. I was doing what makes me happy.
At lunch time I walked over to our group of friends. A mix of band and drama kids. I stand behind David who claims to have a crush on me. I kiss him on the neck and whisper can I sit next to you.
Permission To Come Out - Story Time blog
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