At age thirty-seven he started dying his hair. Due to his first and only grey hair, he found it on his left temple. Single, he seems worried, he could be alone for the rest of his life. I am his oldest son, one of three and seventeen.
Our father left the military to become a police officer. Our Mom prefers military soldier over police officers. Ten years ago, they got a divorce. Now she sends presents at Christmas. Dad had a late shift and fell asleep like this. I took a pic and sent it in a group chat.
My dad is passed out in his chair.
Do not ring the doorbell, just come in.
Go out the backdoor to pool house PS5 fifteen minutes.
Four out of six reply ... "Hot dad" ... OMG really?
My younger brother - Did you see dad passed out?
He looks like a gay porn star sort of.
Me - Why not a straight porn star?
My younger brother - They are never that good looking. Can having a hot dad make you gay?
Me - You are already gay and that is why you think our dad is hot.
My younger brother - Everyone thinks our dad is hot but not everyone is gay.
Me - Let us find out with the guys are coming over to play Fallout. We can watch their reaction to dad when they come in on the security camera. We can get Eddie (youngest brother) to help us keep the guys in the pool house until they all get here.
Eddie - You guys see dad in his underwear.
The brother takes positions and watches as one by one six friends come over. Four took their own picture, and two took sever up close and personal zooming in from a safe distance. One friend flew by covering his eyes. One just stared intensely while groping himself as he slowly walked by.
Five out of six friends think our dad was hot and we got them on camera, checking out our dad. It was a four-day weekend and our house had more random traffic than ever. Dad was awake and doing stuff out in the yard. Ten guys are just hanging out watching him. Conversations about gay stuff and would you go there? Could you go there? Then girls start showing up, just to hang out. Most asked question. Do you take after your mom or your dad or What is the youngest girl your dad has dated? In second place Is your dad gay?
Fine, at the age of seventeen I can accept that the general population thinks my father is hot. Weird a much smaller percent think he could be gay. Some of that is wishful thinking by some borderline gay friends. I write a paper about Our Hot Dad for my English class. I talk about what five out six fronds did while my dad was passed out. Then numbers of friends that stop by for the first-time to see our hot dad for themselves.
Then I explain What I see when I look at my hot dad. I see a very fragile lonely man. Single and trying to be perfect in every way possible. He is tired, he cannot do it all, but he would never admit that. He is proud, OCD, and a little narcissistic about some things.
He will not start dating until we are all grown and out of the house. Finding a second mom is too hard and seems impossible. He hates being alone.
I got an A+ on the paper, sent to talk to a counselor, and so did my brothers. A phone call to my dad about being in his underwear around high school students. Then parents found pics of my dad on the kid’s cell phones. An investigation was called for. Offers for dates, and proposals for marriage.
My English teacher Patrick Thompson is devastated sharing my English paper caused such an uproar. He asked for a parent teacher conference to apologize to my dad personally. I explain that due to my dad's shift he wakes up at five pm. He could stop by the house at six pm. Mr. Thompson is book nerd much like myself and must be my all-time favorite teacher.
We pick a book to read in a week and then the following week we switch books. He calls my father at six to ask if he can stop by. Dad said sure come on over. He was in the middle of cooking us dinner in his underwear and apron. I suggest shorts when the doorbell goes off. Dad ran to throw some on.
Mr. Thompson follows me to the kitchen. While my dad shows back up in, shorts, no shirt, and an apron. Mr. Thompson turns into a schoolgirl in front of my father, outing himself in the process.
Mr. T - OMG you are hotter in person. You should be a model in GQ. Tell me you are gay or at the least open to the idea.
Dad - I am open to anything for my son David's favorite teacher. I know you teach English, but can you teach a straight dad how to do gay stuff and love it.
Mr. T - Do mess with a gay man's emotions I am the difference between your son getting a scholarship or student loans.
Dad - Okay fine kiss me now if you are that good, we go on our first gay date tomorrow night.
Me - OMG
Dad - David grabbed my cell phone off my nightstand.
They go back to kissing and my dad takes a sick day to check out being gay. The freaking world was right about that too. I just hooked my dad and my teacher. I yelled at my brothers.
Dinner's ready, come meet our new Mom. Who is next? I have a list of high school friends just waiting for a reason to do gay stuff.
Our Hot Dad - Story Time Blog
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