It was my twenty-first birthday, I was intoxicated. I was standing at the urinal trying to take a leak for for some reason I was peeing on my boots. II hand out of nowhere points me in the right direction. I said thanks man, I can get it from here. Now we were both holding it. I say no really I got it then I realize my hand is on top of his. I let go. He lets go and damn it I am pissing on my boot again. Wait I think I am out. Yep, all done.... I was too drunk I could not think what do I do next. I was just staring at my wet boot.
The hand moves to my shoulder. Which got my attention and made me turn and look. He was naked, from the waist up and putting away his ... junk with one hand. He released my shoulder which was helping me balance. Using both hand he pulls up his pants while jumping up in the air he tucks things in to place. Butt cheeks and tight pants I bet he is gay. He has a bubble butt and over does it at the gym on that body part.
He's back. With one hand on each shoulder he tells me to pivet. Hey bro up here. He speaks.
I say Ruben. twenty-first birthday and you are ?
Your guardian angel sent to make sure you survive until your twenty- second.
Then what happens? If I only got one year left that's messed up.
After that you are on your own. You can call me Phillip. You should put that away.
Oh Yeah, what comes next, that was what I was trying to remember. See. I can do this. 501s. I am a buttonhole short.
Does your mom still help you get dressed in the morning Rubin. Stop I will fix it?
No. she just tells me if I look good or not. She hates if my clothes are wrinkled. Are all guardian angels gay or just some.
It's not a preference it is all about attraction. I am more attracted to males. Shall we wash our hands. Except for my pee soaked boot I am good and attempt to walk. Phillip puts my arm around his shoulder and his arm around my waist. We make it the sink and a mirror and I am trashed. It was a slightly sobering moment. I bend over and watch my face in simi hot water hoping it will help. A few more times just to be sure. Then I try it with cold water. Wow. Phillip grabs a empty beer mug gives it a rinse and dumps it on my head, I said once more please. It was like putting a fire out in my brain. Possibly what made me up-chuck in the sink. Beers and shots of jagermeister. More cold water I had to rinse the sink out.
Ten minutes later I was still intoxicated, but had much better focus. I suggested we look for my friends. I asked what time it was and Phillip replies
Midnight. and asks Why?
The group I came with is walking out the door without me. How long was I in the restroom?
Thirty minutes max. How did you get here?
I showed him my keys which he took immediately. I asked if he wanted to get something like coffee and shocked when he said absolutely. This was a just delay tactic incase an uber was the better choice. I reminded him despite being naked and attractive. I was straight and begged him not to take advantage of me in my current state.
We made it out the door of the bar no longer attached to each other. He pulls out a t shirt out of is pocket that was a golf ball size and fit like a cheap condom. It was white but so thin it was almost see through. We walk as far as next door, at a Circle K. Over to the coffee section and he asks how do I take it. Strong but with the white chocolate creamer. He seem to think that was funny and then made the exact same thing for himself. He suggests I should buy. He doesn't carry a wallet it would screw up the view of his butt.
It must be a gay thing...
The coffee tasted awesome, and then I saw donuts. I wanted one we got four. I paid and we go back outside. He asks where I parked and we walk past the bar to a side parking lot. Neon Yellow Jeep.
He liked the color he said it pops.
He gets in the driver's seat which was weird. I bring up the fact no one else has ever drove my Jeep and he was a stranger. He corrects me Guardian angel.
I asked so no wallet no driver license.
He shows me his cell phone case with a spot for cards ID and cash.
I asked him how he got here he beeps a car-remote in a small side pocket by his ankle. A Cherry red Jeep flashes it lights. He drove by slow so I could check it out. Nice ride and like brand new. Weird he hits home on the GPS and get directions to my house. The coffee was waking me up I was less intoxicated and the donut settled my stomach. We didn't talk for the first three minutes. I just leaned against the door thinking about turning twenty-one, my friends , and the stranger to my left posing as my guardian angel. Then he explains points out we both have jeeps and he loves white chocolate creamer in his coffee too. That was funny.
As we pull in the driveway a friend by text asks if I made it home okay. I replied yes. He said I saw your Jeep and figured you took an uber bro you were so trashed. Happy birthday.
I get inside and we conversations what next. He suggested I jump in the shower and then in bed. He would call and uber for a ride back to his car. There was the issue of the peed on boot. I was having issues getting them off. I was sitting on the edge of the tub. Phillip came over to help.
I have no idea why I started crying. My mood dropped. I avoid emotion this never happens. He gets my boots off and stands to see tears . He calmly says bro lighten up. Stand up and drop those jeans. I did stand and unbutton my 501s. I get them to the floor and he has to help again.
I asked what time it was. Phillip say 1: 25 in the morning. I suggest the seeing my junk twice in less than two hours is gay. This should not be happening. Then Phillip asks if it would be okay if he helped me in the shower and took a shower with me. I said sure. What was I saying? He got undressed in seconds when it took me forever. Both naked we get in with lukewarm water made to feel like rain. It falls from the center of the shower ceiling directly above my head. He puts soap to a body sponge and starts washing my back. Twenty minutes later he had given every inch of my body a personal inspection and cleaning. He hands me the sponge and say your turn bro.
I was not sure I was wake to do this, or gay enough. As he did I started att his back and run into that butt of his. I am on my knees naked in a shower with the perfect butt on a girl or guy. I gave it a scrub. Dropped the sponge for a more hands on approach. Perfectly rounded how does that happen? Then he bends over. just slightly. It was how I had imagine the formation of the grand canyon. Then just hours after turning twenty one I had my first totally gay moment. Then I acted on it. I buried my face in his butt. Five minute or so later we run to the bedroom to do other gay stuff to that butt of his.
The next morning is where the all puzzle pieces fit together. Mostly because I was sober and I don't really believe in guardian angels in human form. His name is Phillip and he works at the bakery dept. at Smiths. He is also a student in his second year. His job required him to write the message on the cake. Happy Birthday Rubin.
In the process he learns the time and location of the birthday party. Awesome closeted hot most likely gay nerd. The plan was to get him drunk a ditch him on his birthday. They actually said he would never drive his jeep drunk he will take an uber. Phillip had this information about a stranger. What if he did attempt to drive home and something bad happen. Now he was getting paranoid.
Phillip explains the group was easy to find. Once he saw who they were talking to and about. Phillip started falling in love with Ruben. Boom. Then over the course of an hour and a half and Rubin requesting they slow down with the shots. He was trashed. They had only be in the bathroom fifteen minutes or twenty minutes at the most. Philip said thirty to help ease the pain, and cover for Rubin's friends behavior.
In the end despite learning a few things about friend and friendships. Rubin realized he was into one picticular gay guys butt. So much so he became gay or came out gay. Which is to be determined later. Rubin's family was thrilled with Philip and how he volunteered to rescue a stranger their one a only Rubin. A little odd was introducing Phillip to his friends. Two of whom decided to leave early when Rubin told everyone that Philip wrote the icing on his birthday cake. Then helped him take a piss several hours later. At first it was a gay thing. Then it was love.
It Must Be a Gay Thing - Story Time Blog
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