As most guys growing up after gay marriage our perspective is different. As a boy I was taught it could be a possibility and that one day you just know if you are or not. Until then you pray God don't let me be gay. You do your best to over compensate around and with females, in the hopes you will get lucky. The fast way to prove you are not gay is to have sex with a girl.
This issue is only heighten by my parents interest in finding out once and for all if I am gay or straight as soon as possible. My mother at the age of fourteen enters my room on a pee break from what she thought was a computer game. She kindly sets my backpack in my desk chair and moves my mouse to expose her to the gay content I was watching prior to my pee break. She screams slightly seconds later I come out of the bathroom to see her flying down the steeps. I see the backpack and what is playing on the screen. I was busted for watching videos of guy stuff yet mom never said a word.
Two weeks later my dad did. Asking if I watch more gay content than straight content. To which I said yes. I explain I am on the swim team and see naked guys all the time. As a guy know how that works and it is much more relatable. I have never seen a real naked female or do I have any idea how that feels or works. Dad wants me to compare what I am going through with other guys at school. I explain a few guys are out of the closet, more guys are confused. He suggests sleepovers with gay guys.
I knew immediately who I would invite first. Tom from the swim team just broke up with his long time girlfriend. I thought to come out of the closet but then I guess he chickened out. I asked him to come over on Friday night and play video games hit our pool and take his mind of his x girlfriend. He jumps on the idea and at midnight that night as I come back from the bathroom he was waiting by the door. He shoves his tongue down my throat and we start to make out.
Five minutes later his was doing gay stuff and I was standing there enjoying it all all the way to completion. All to light of my monitor as we tuck into the corner by the door. The idea is if someone wanted to enter they would interrupt you not walk in on you. I learn this the next morning with our second time, repeat performance leaning against the door. He comes out as gay to me and begs me to keep his secret. Informing me I was the only guy on the swim team he had not done that with. I am also the only one that knows that. His fatal mistake was he did gay stuff with his girlfriends older brother who he really is in love with. Her brother insisted he break up with his sister.
I felt immensely better and slightly used. They say knowledge is power and with my fathers permission I start comparing gay guys at school. Every weekend and with a different friend, I play the slightly curious straight guy. That I had no idea they did gay stuff like that. I get the guys that beg to come back for seconds, and thirds and before you know it I am turning sixteen. The legal age of consent and I was officially old enough to hit a home run and still had zero clue who with.
My dad and mom aware I was making out with guys and letting them do gay stuff to me. Kept warning me I can't do this forever, and I was using these guys. Out of the twelve guys on the swim team eight guys will do anything gay. There are four of us that have limitation in what we are willing to do in return. However Josh and Tony who were claiming to be straight and admittedly using gay guys as girls for sex. As my mom and dad predicted hell broke loose when they both got caught having sex with Henry together at the sametime. The videos on the phones got them both labeled as gay. The two of them had talked eight guys on the swim team to be their girlfriends. Tom and I were the only ones that had not gone there. Despite their attempts to find real girlfriends the two ended up as a couple after they both learn to bottom for each other.
As I approached my seventeenth birthday my sex life had dropped off the planet for a while. The gay guys at school were just scary, too girly, and got harassed way too much. I didn't want to be that kind of gay guy. Then as fate would have it my English teacher sets me up with Carla Halbert for an assignment. After school at her house she offers the same services at the gay guys at school. So, I go for it for the first time in my life with a girl. Thirty minutes later we were done making love and I had lost my virgin status to a girl.
First of all I was not impressed. That was sad and though she seem to enjoy it she barely took part. It was also not her first time and all she wanted to do we never did work on the project. The next day in English she ask to switch partners. Telling the teacher all I wanted to do was make out with her. I was so pissed off about that I told the teacher the truth. So, he hooks me up with Albert from the football team. Who was in-fact Carla's x-boyfriend and also hated her. Albert suggested she was looking to get pregnant, and for bigger.
At seventeen a senior in high school I had lost my virgin status finally. Telling this news to my father, who then made the choice to include my mother in my private conversation. They were both rather freaked out it was in fact with a girl. I think they were disappointed as much as I was but for other reasons. They were prepared to have a gay son. This news was confusing to them. Dad wrote it off as something I had to try at least once in my life and said I just picked the wrong girl. He actually said I was too good looking to stay single once I get to college. He also admitted maybe I was not gay after all.
With my sex life out in the open the subject came up at dinner. Mom is asking who makes me nervous, who do I look at a go damn I want to have sex with them. The truth was more guys did that then girls. Then dad and mom play this game telling me to pick one. They start naming girls and guys and tell me to pick one. Spiderman or Taylor Swift and on and on. Guys won every time. The question was is that proof of a preference and mom and dad seem to say yes.
Right there and then and much to their discomfort I asked the million dollar question? Have you ever done gay stuff, and why is this so important to you?
Mom and dad got real unconformable before...
Mom - These days everyone tries gay stuff at some point in their lives.
Dad - It's more about what you want for your future. Because gay men can get married, and can become parents it more about what you want in a partner. The kind of sex you like matters.
Mom - When we got married twenty years ago that was what we were taught our only choice was. As your parents we are just saying straight a wife and kids are not your only options.
Me. - So, have either of you ever done it with the same sex?
My mom growled, and my dad ...
Dad - Yes we both have and we both like it better.
Mom - Don't speak for me please, about this. Your father and I love each other very much. After twenty years of marriage we found out about five years ago that we both enjoy having same sex partners. We opened up our marriage to allow that. We might have a bias on this issue with you.
Me - You have sex with guys? Asking my father making direct contact.
Dad - Chuck and I from the gym hook for sex and to avoid your next question. Yes I am versitial we been doing for two years now. He is married but his wife took off a year ago and he is in the closet about doing gay stuff. He has brothers with kids and no one knows he prefers guys. Please don't out him or your mom and me.
Mom - Do not look at me I will introduce to my girlfriend the day you leave for college and not a minute before.
Silence filled the room as i observed the information I had just been given. Mom hands me her wine glass and says take a sip. Dad giggles shaking his head.
Dad - Gay sex and alcohol welcome to the world of growing up. We should have handled this a lot better but we were in the middle of find out for ourselves. It's not like we could say no you can't be gay. We wanted you to have the option to find out for yourself. We didn't get that option.
I take a gulp of mom's wine and gag a little, I make a joke at my parents expense.
Me - Bi-sexual parents open marriage and no one smokes pot?
Mom grabs her purse and pulls out a tube with a pre-roll inside. At the age of seventeen the three of us come out of the closet and smoke a joint together. The conversation wonderful. The subject was me and what or who was I waiting for. It seems to come down to the right time and place and person. I didn't not picture it as a random act because I am too chicken. I would need to feel safe with the person and place. It is always someone around my own age. After twenty more minutes I couldn't keep my eyes opened we all hugged and went different directions.
Dad went to tell Chuck he had came out to his son. Mom said she would never speak to me again if I become a drama queen. I go to bed accepting I am probably gay and both parents have confirmed same sex sex is the best. Inner child crap that says it's okay to be versatil, the girl, taken care of, taught a lesson? That last one was is not a real thing. It was me falling asleep.
I wake to a barking dog and the doorbell going off. It was Sunday and my parents were gone at 10 am was unheard of. I remember my dad is at Chucks doing Gay stuff and Mom who knows. I answer the door in my underwear because I can see that it is Jeff that works at the gym. I open the door to seem him freak to me in my underwear.
Jeff - I got two White Chocolate Mocha coffees I was hoping we could talk.
Me - That's just weird what do we have to talk about?
Jeff - I have been texting you for hours why haven't you responded?
Me - I lost my cell phone I think I left it at the gym.
Jeff - You did, and I would suggest your birthdate is not the most secure password.
Me - You hacked my phone.
Jeff - Do you want it back?
Me - Yes please.
Jeff - Invite me in... please?
Me - Fine come in thanks for the coffee. Have a seat on the couch and ask your questions.
Jeff - I know from your contact list you let guys do gay stuff to you but are you gay or not?
Me - Funny you should ask. You are the first person I told this to. Yes I am gay. Damn I waited way too long to say that.
Jeff - Wait you are coming out of the closet as of today? What prompted that move?
Me - I just figured it out, last night talking to my parents. Come on give me phone back bro.
Jeff - Is there a reward for safe return of your phone.
Me - Why what do you want?
Jeff - Us to do gay stuff. It would be my first time with a guy. I have had a crush on you forever. I want my first time to be with someone I can trust, and feel safe with. I know your dad and he is really nice to me. You are just a year younger than me. I have seen you naked at the gym and I want you to make me your girlfriend.
I move in and give Jeff a kiss. Long deep and slow while holding the back of his head.
Me - I just woke up let's go upstairs get naked and take a shower with me. We can figure out the guy stuff from there.
Jeff takes my hand as upstairs we watch each other get undressed. The water turns warm we get in a I get a life change kiss. That frozen moment in time when I knew this was the guy. My plan was to rock his entrance into the gay world as his first time and to some extent mine own.
Activity - Story Time Blog
Comments